i think sometimes im too hard on myself and i expect perfection that its slowly swallowing my emotions sometimes and its really bad for me.

one slight mishap and to me it would be a failure. for me, its either you are the best, or you are a failure.

and because of these "failures" i will go down hard on myself, i will kill my own interest in that thing, i will keep repeating to myself "how can you even achieve if you cannot even settle something as little as this" i keep torturing myself that i break down.

i have like really stalled so many times this year because of stress from school and from my inconsistent performance in all my subjects. one moment i can top for bio and the next i can be dropping all the way, i can get full marks for balancing equations and fail my next test.

its not doing me any good, and its not doing anyone any good. I need to stop this self mental harming and find some good sides of this.

I believe that there will always be a good side to things, and next time when i fail i will tell myself this. i shall stop slowly killing myself from trying to be a perfectionist.

because im not, and no one can be.